I ended up making (starting) a profile/portfolio at Krop.com. (look here) I think it’s pretty neat so far, although at the moment I’ve only started so as of this posting there’s not much there yet.

There’s a free version which lets you have a few images in one set, in addition to your resume and whatnot. There’s a pay service that lets you have more images/sets, but for now to try out and since I don’t have much there to begin with, the free is enough for me.

Check it out. If it’s not something you think will help you now, it might later on. (nope, I ain’t gettin no kickbacks, this is fyi+self-promo only.)

In other news, I’ve been working on more projects, obviously. While I’m doing stuff to hand in, I’m also tweaking the stuff that goes into my portfolio and and some personal side projects. First looks usually go up on the tumble log. More in depth looks for some stuff can be seen on Artsy Fartsy.

I’m gonna seriously spend the summer getting a whole assload of shit done when it comes to workout logs, redesigning/refining werkit, getting up a few shops, getting in some good photography time, and seriously adding to my portfolio. I’m at least going to be able to offer sets of postcards and block printed greeting cards for sale. I’m gonna be able to offer logs for sale, including potentially whole log book companions for various routines out there. I need to move on, even if I’m kept in school longer than I was planning. If all I end up having to do this summer is physical therapy, then at least I’ll have time.

I’m finding all sorts of reasons to not be working on my princess project. Prolly cuz I’m worried about fking it up. even though I can’t really. But if I got on it, and even if I did mess up, it’s easy to redo, given enough time. Mostly, it’s just that I’d prefer to goof off with just one more thing to read/look at/do here and there. Even my goof-off time isn’t well spent lately. There’s been no gaming, no porn, nuthin. Hell, I’m not even actually getting around to watching the last Bikini Bandits dvd we’ve had around for forever. Just silly internet crap. That or a lot of lying around trying make my leg unswell or being too tired and needing naps.

Seriously, I’m sick of the fatigue. We go out and into one store for a short time and I’m utterly drained. It’s all just so… OZAY! grr.

Did a few more postcard designs, so I guess that’s some kind of progress, although not in something that needs to get done.

I’m bored. I can’t go anywhere. I can’t drive. I can’t walk far. House chores are taxing as hell. Can’t mow the lawn, move furniture, or do anything taxing. I have 3 weeks left of school and am just so over this shit. I’m frustrated and hanging in limbo. All my fucking plans for school and graduating and interning and being done with this shit are on hold and therefore likely extended another damn semester.

I need to go to the gym. It might help. Maybe. Supposed to go 4 or so times a week, hasn’t happened yet. Have worked out a few times at home, but the cage isn’t terribly helpful in this case. Not like I can just start deading and crap, which is what I want to do.

ugh.
I need to get out. Like now. Walk around in the nice evening or something. now.

Oh, and sorry about the comments. I didn’t know there were any awaiting moderation (besides the cyrillic/engrish spam, of course).

Today I’m moving forward trying out a few new things. Spend less time goofing off on those crazy intertubez and more time doing something a bit more productive. I’m not so much hoping for something magical to happen, I kinda still like my lazy self, but talk is cheap and makes people (read: me) fat. Analyze this and think about that and read this other thing and blah blah blah…

Fuck it.
I don’t do shit for other people. I do them for me. And trying to be impressive to other people doesn’t get me anywhere because I really don’t want to impress people. I don’t care what you think I look like. I know that, because if I did, then the thought of getting all slim and sexay and buff to show off would actually translate into my ass in the gym… and it doesn’t. It hasn’t for years.

Frankly, the intertubez has ruined my waistline. Forums have robbed me of the will to DO shit, by allowing me to talk about shit. Talking about shit is much easier than doing it, see, and so the more I talk, the less I do.

It doesn’t matter where I go on the intertubez, I still get the same result of ass not in gym. So, I leave the intertubez behind, somewhat, and concentrate more on just doing and not talking. No more posted workouts here, because that’s just a pain in the fucking ass anyway. I don’t care if anyone sees what I did (or didn’t, most usually) do, and I doubt anyone who reads (wait, that’s not anyone anyway) cares what I did or didn’t do. So fuck it.

Really, why bother anyway? Noone comes here except to read a post about FFXII anyway. Might as well just talk about porn and music and shit. At least then it’ll be something interesting to me. Now let’s go find some hentai!

Speaking of pr0n, I might be in lurve of Stoya…

PS. Damn the fucking cat dropped a HUGE one. pew!

That would be where I’m posting my mental shit lately, if at all. My current log is here: Aoife in Wonderland: Log at JPFitness.com. I’m incapable of posting training and shit in 20 million places, and until I get other items up and running that might make that more possible, I post where I get to converse and have a level of community. Noone ever comes here unless they’re searching the internets for a few specific things, and only about 5 posts of mine are regularly viewed.

But this is still all mine and can’t just magically disappear, and hence why I’m pulling over a few posts.

It is break time, and I’m cleaning house, rearranging house, and getting work done on Werkit.com and GetSyncin.com. I am putting together my physical portfolio and resume, and will be getting theAoife.com back in order soon as well.

And now it’s time to make some dinner.

There’s McCain signs out with “pro-life” attached at the bottom. They mispelled “pro-birth” since that’s what many pro-lifers really are. You know, the ones that bitch about welfare, or don’t want people to have health insurance, don’t care about educating those babies and all that shit. HAVE THE DAMN BABY! YOU MUST! CHOOSE LIFE! and then fuck you when it comes to taking care of it and helping it to have a healthy, happy life. And fuck the lives of anyone not an unborn, often not even viable fetus. You all deserve exactly what you get, because your mother was “pro-life.” Fuck those unamerican bastards. Fuck the frenchies, or the middle east, or the mexicans (there’s only 4 people in the world: white, black, chinese, and mexican), or the terrorists.

Ah, to be “independent” in a place where the only non-retarded choices seem to be dems… barely I might add.

It’s not that I’m anti-Obama… I’m not and think he’d be fine. It’s that for once, I’d like to actually be making a choice of “who could best lead this country out of these fine specimens of humanity?” Not “shit, who’s gonna do the least damage in the next 4 years?” Or “well, at least there’s ONE ok candidate.”

And could someone please be “pro-life” against whatever brain sucker got at McCain? Because I’m pretty sure something happened in 06 or so, that made him just go all stupid and shit.

I fucking hate election materials. It’s the only mail I get. I like not getting mail (or at least, I like getting no mail if I can’t constantly have checks in the mail, made out to me, for pretty much anything more than $10, but don’t worry, if you only want to send me $5, I won’t reject it). I hate the damn signs. I mean, it’s mildly interesting from a design aspect, but only mildly, because there’s about as much creativity in election shit most of the time as there is unslanted, unbiased truth.

I figure it’s easier to bitch about politics than the more insidious and constant stupidity around me perpetuated by retards on fitness boards and idiotic 20-year-old girls at a christian college. Because I see a little Sarah reflected in all of them. Apparently completely lacking in any resemblance of thought. I cringe as I look around and see the future about me. And it’s a 22 year old girl who doesn’t want to bulk up and thinks obama is a nigro terrorist.

Where’s my pink dumbbell? I need to fling it at some people’s heads.

In reality, I had a huge priority shift, and the gym stopped being fun. I don’t know why, but it did. It was a long time maintenance, and a slow creep up after that. Only recently has shit skyrocketed out of control. And now it’s under control, but the path down was much faster last time. I can’t handle that level of intensity at the moment, although I keep finding myself trying… like a friggin Alzheimer’s patient.

I’d prolly do best to count on doing very little and just eat low to compensate for that.

It feels like there’s so much to do, and so little time for it all. It’s not necessarily the case, I slack of a LOT, but that’s kinda in the vein of avoidance. Call it laziness or fear, it has the same consequence. School work is always last minute, training never gets done, code isn’t written, logs aren’t made, house isn’t clean, the grass becomes a pygmy village, and there’s never more than 2 ironed shirts at most.

I’ve severely cut back on hanging around here, huge time-sink that it is. The bright side is if I only stick to subscriptions (usually just people’s logs) then I can easily read on the touch, and checking the forums fits into smaller pockets in the day.

You know, all my real progress came before I started hanging out in fitness forums.

If I accomplish a lot, it sets a standard, and I feel guilty for slacking off. If I sit around and do nothing, nothing gets done, but at least I don’t feel …what? Inferior? Wasteful?

But I do.

School puts my life on hold, even though it was on hold before school, and in the end all it’s gonna get me is a BA after 7-8 fucking years. It feels pointless to do stuff now, but in reality there’s plenty to do now. If I do things right and stuff works out gud, I won’t actually NEED that silly degree. Does that mean I wasted years and a shitton of money on it?

It’s been a looooong time since I’ve worked up to “my potential,” as my grade school teachers called it. Thinking I’m prolly not good enough? Worried that I’m fabulous? I dive in to stuff and shit starts going well, and then I back off. No longer interested, want more free time, etc.

Really I want more time to relax without shit hanging over my head. The path to that is getting shit done. But I don’t, and avoid instead.

I can trace shit back and analyze myself all day, in the end I’m still a fat lazy bitch IF I don’t actually DO something about it.