Back to school

Well, it’s time tomorrow to head back to school, I think I’m scheduled for 16 hours and I’ll be starting up rehearsal for The Misanthrope right away. I’m a little worried since I also just started HELL and have yet to make much progress… so I sit here a fat ass dreading having to do a lot of shit and therefore not making time for my workouts. I’m really sick of school. I really, really am.

I hope that the training logs end up working out for people and it’s worth doing more and offering other services to gyms/trainers and whatnot… it’d be nice to actually DO something related to my degree I’m so sick of trying to get.

I’ve gotten most of the logs for HELL done, I’m nearly finished with the New Rules of Lifting logs, I’m working on the rest of New Rules of Lifting for Women logs… I have started on the TNT logs…

In some ways I feel I accomplished much this month off, in others I feel like a total slacker. House a mess, gonna work on that some today. Worried about school… mostly because I feel the walls closing in again and it’s pissing me off. I know I’ll be fine, I got a 4.0 last semester and I don’t see much this semester that’ll fuck me over so bad that I can’t keep it… I just… I’m sick of school. I’m over 30, I want to actually be DOING something… and I don’t feel like waiting another year or two.

I’m also just in a really crappy mood today. Weepy and anxious and irritated with myself. Huge headache that keeps coming back. Worried about shit, completely disorganized feeling… I hate back to school. Always have. It’s never been something exciting. It’s always just felt like it was sucking away all my time to do shit I want to do… even if I don’t do shit I want to do when I am free.

I forgot to put the oil/engine cap on after putting in oil the other day and now the fucker is gone so I had to get another. The whole inside of my engine area is covered in spattered oil… hope that doesn’t cause a problem with the spark plugs or whatnot… maybe I can get some engine cleaner or degreaser or something…

I haven’t painted in months. I still have projects all over the place unstarted or half-finished.

HELL is kicking my ass and I’ve actually yet to complete a single workout I’m such a fucking weak-assed baby. I’m fat. Whine whine whine.

I need to get up and do something. Besides, the cats are into something… who the hell knows what…

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