I’ve been actually drinking my water again. Like a good girl. I’m easily getting 2L or more in, I’m making sure to not eat over my planned amount, and I’m actually dropping off the bit of extra I bumped up since I stopped working a bit ago.

I’m just a little attention deficit, I guess. It’s hard to pay attention to stuff when other stuff is soooo tasty/fun…. and there’s all that obnoxious homework and crap I had… which just made it so easy to say I couldn’t work out.

Tonite on tap I have a lift planned, some shoulder rehab, foam rolling. Last night was a horriffic spin class… today I’ll take it a bit easier. I’m gonna cardio, though prolly not a LOT… just some intervals rowing or something like that.

My ass is looking rather good again… that must count for something, right?

Really, at the moment I’m really just wanting to see under 150 again. This 61 days thing at JP should keep me going through my lazy times, but really the new gym has been like PERFECT for keeping me interested. There’s just a LOT of stuff I can do if I don’t feel like the normal stuff… and really… something is better than nothing… so going off plan isn’t horrible. Plus I’ve modified my thinking a bit. Even though the workout “should” be a 4 on 1 off plan, I’m making it that if I feel it… but if I don’t feel up to the lift for whatever reason, I will cardio. Plus, since I finish before Otto, I have plenty of time (and no excuse not) to cardio after a lift.

I think I’ll do what I’m doing for a few more weeks to get the most benefit from it, then I might switch to this evil number: The horror of a Cosgrove-Waterbury matchup. Looks psychotic… so I should prolly give it a try. :-P

Sometimes I feel like such a mess. My head is a mess, my body is a mess… I want to be fucking perfect, dammit! Is that so fucking hard?
Course, if I can’t have it… I still don’t really get why I stop trying.
I sorta do, I guess, maybe.
It’s easier to fail if you can say you didn’t try and therefore you would have succeeded if you did try.
And Absolute Perfection isn’t something you can really succeed at.

That or I’m prolly just permanently cracked and broken and there’s no hope for me.

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