Archive for February, 2007

Frustration setting in

Wednesday, February 28th, 2007

Something’s wrong.

I’ve been thinking about this for a bit and it occurs to me that every time I start back up with a cut, I get nowhere weight-wise. If I had been logging my weight for the past 2 years you’d likely see long stretches of plateau and then every so often an uptick I can’t seem to come down from.

Sure, there’s plenty of times I’ve lacked the commitment to really be as intense and strict as I need to be… but there have been PLENTY of times that I have, and still the same issue.

Now I have to wonder if something is wrong or if I’m just kidding myself on my intensity and strictness.

And I am SOO sorely tempted to drop my calories for a month. That’s all I have… a month till my birthday. And I haven’t seen 150 on the scale at all… let alone below it.

I know, first hand even, how shitty 1000 calories or under would be. I know how bad it is for me. I know what I’ll end up feeling like.

But it feels like the only way to fucking get me to where I want to be. Eat next to nothing and workout like crazy… you know… a retarded after school special.

I won’t, of course…

But we’re planning on the “gentlemen’s club” for my birthday… (because I’m such a gentlemen, and I need to see me some nice titties)… and I’m gonna be all bummed looking at hot chicks that look better than I do. Fucking hate that.

I’m just frustrated… sick of being bigger than I want to be… sick of looking like shit… sick of not fitting into any of my clothes… sick of having to wait to get ink in most places because I don’t want it with a flabby body… and irritated as all hell that I let something good go because I thought it wasn’t good enough.

Fucking fuck fuck.

Bitchin!

Tuesday, February 27th, 2007

Monologue

Monday, February 26th, 2007

Hair & Ink 2

Monday, February 26th, 2007

Hair & Ink

Sunday, February 25th, 2007

Wiiiiiiiiiiiii!

Saturday, February 17th, 2007

Getting over it

Friday, February 16th, 2007

My type 3

Thursday, February 15th, 2007

A bit of acquiescence

Wednesday, February 14th, 2007

My type 2

Tuesday, February 6th, 2007

meebo

Tuesday, February 6th, 2007

My type

Tuesday, February 6th, 2007

In series

Friday, February 2nd, 2007

43 Things

Thursday, February 1st, 2007

Snow Day, part duxe

Thursday, February 1st, 2007