Squirrlypants?

So I’m searching for something, a link I once had that I lost and I was hoping maybe I’d find it in one of my old posts on ftbm, so I go looking. I come across, in the lists of my posts:

Don’t do it with pants.
It likes to be all squirley and slip around, and snap out, and smack you in the crotch.

It’s not that it’s somehow surprising I wrote this, it’s that I had no freekin clue what the hell it was about.
Now I’m just sitting here laughing, no closer to finding that damn link….

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