His Woman

Am I the only person who is kinda creeped out by this phenomenon? Women who post on websites who are a wife/girlfriend/so/whatever of another poster taking a name that is that person’s wife/girl/other. That just seems… weird. I mean, can not a girl stand there on her own without defining herself in relation to some man? Didn’t MS Steinem and company fight for that damn “Ms.” so that women didn’t have to be defined by whether or not they were belonging to a man?

I don’t know why it bothers me. I guess for the same reason using a degrading or demotivating name bothers me. I mean, if you post as some “fat bastard” or “unlucky shit” you’re bound to just help fulfill that prophetic name you’ve given yourself. You’ve set a mold for yourself, thought and language defines existence to an extent. How many “fat bastards” are able to get unfat and stay that way? I just don’t see a reason to saddle yourself with a negative persona.

And I don’t see a reason to saddle yourself with a persona that is inexorably tied to someone else. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happily married, but I never refer to myself as Mrs. Otto. I expect to be a missus to Otto for the rest of my frikkin life, but I still am not gonna be “Mrs.Otto.” (and don’t get me started on the whole “mother” thing. THAT is fucking CreepY as hell!)

I guess most people don’t really think about it. I know the kind of impact, totally subconscious at that, a name can have on a person. I’ve seen it in myself and it’s truly weird, really. But, beyond that… I just don’t get it, that other people saddle themselves with certain kinds of names that define their online (and often offline) personas. It’s along the lines of affirmations, but I guess even that is the kind of thing people don’t think about.

Oh well.
Still fucking creepy. Be your own damn woman. Even if you are “his.”

2 Responses to “His Woman”

  1. kitmouse Says:

    TOTALLY agree. I am NOT just a wife, and I’m sure as all damn not anyone’s mother. Women who define themselves by whose mother they are–or worse, whose mother they will be in the future–creep me out. It’s an immediate “I don’t want to know this person” flag, though so in a way it’s useful.

  2. Aoife Says:

    ugh. Otto’s mother does that. It’s fucking creepy. First, it’s asserting her ownership over him in a way that is totally passive-dependant it’s fucking creepy.
    Second, it’s creepy.
    Third, it’s annoying.
    Fourth, it’s like that’s all the fucking life she has, being her only son’s mother, when he’s a grown fucking man.
    Overall, it just totally creeps me out, before I even get all feminist about it.

    I mean, I’m the last person to tell a woman what she should or shouldn’t do. I think a woman has just as much right to decide to stay home and take care of her family as she does to go make millions of dollars a year in industry. But still, be your own damn woman, whatever that might end up being.


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