Send a bill?

I’m kinda annoyed/torn/apathetic/whatever about the design job I did a few months ago for someone who is about acquaintance level, but also kinda a friend of a friend sort of thing that also makes her at drinking buddy level.

I’d made up a 3×5 post card for her to be able to mail out announcing her new studio/office or whatever and trying to advertise her services (she’s an interior designer). Spent time going over layout, set everything the way she wanted, all done in a pretty timely manner (a week) while I had my finals and papers and crap due last spring (end of semester). Notified her I was finished, she wanted to change one thing… never really got back to me about it.

Every time we do go out and she’s there, she makes a point for apologizing for being a flake, saying I deserve my money, she’ll catch me next time… For months. Couple weeks ago I was out and she made of point of getting my address to send a check, since whether or not she used the thing (I still hadn’t given her anything to take to the printers, but the time she was planning on using it had passed) she figured I should get paid. There has not, of course, been a check in the mail.

So, on the one hand, I’m a bit annoyed/miffed since I did do the work and rushed to get it to her in time and nearly neglected some of my important homework. I’m a bit annoyed that she keeps seeming to make a point of being sorry and wanting to pay me. Like… I donno… if ya don’t want to pay me, just come out and say it, and if you do, fucking do it. Ya know?

But on the other hand, I don’t necessarily care. I mean, I’m really laid back about this type of thing and generally apathetic, I don’t see the need to get all worked up over something as trivial as a couple bucks for something that she didn’t even get (though if she paid, I’d be sending her the .pdf, so it’s not like she’d not get it). I can use the thing in my portfolio if I so desire (which I will do, I did a decent job on the damn thing, after all) and it’s not that much money anyway, and I’m certainly not a pro.

However, it is known that she’s a flake. And considering how much I flake on certain things, I can understand the whole “dammit I keep forgetting when I’m in a position to actually *do* something about it” syndrome… I do it often myself. If it were me, I would want to pay the person, even if I did keep flaking on the whole thing.

So, since I have her address (at least for her studio, since it was on the promo piece I was working on) I could just send her a bill. That way she’d presumably get it at a place where she had a checkbook or something handy and could just be reminded to pay and do so. I mean, that’s why the places that send me bills get paid more often than the places that just give me a coupon book once a year.

But, again… there’s that apathy. And the sense of… I donno… that it’s not a big deal? That I’m not some professional and therefore demanding payment just feels a bit odd to me. I don’t know that I can entirely put into words that part of it… but basically I guess it’s a feeling that my work isn’t necessarily worth paying for. I’m still a student, etc.

Plus, I seriously just have this thing against asking people for things like that. I mean, I don’t like to remind people that they owe me money or something that they borrowed. There’s this idea that it’s not terribly important to them if they can’t remember on their own, and a need (on my part) to not be an imposition. I mean, most of the time that I don’t pay stuff it’s because I don’t have the money or something…

So on the one hand sending the bill seems eminently practical, and if I were the flake I’d be thankful for it. On the other it feels very presumptuous and …demanding, I guess. On the third hand, I’m a lazy, apathetic girl and most of the time forget this whole incident anyway, and so it feels like it totally doesn’t matter and isn’t worth the effort/time/irritation.

sigh

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