Keeping in touch

I just don’t get why people always get upset when you don’t keep in touch with them. Especially when you’re always the one who is saying “hi,” sending out little messages, calling, emailing, IMing, writing, whatever and they’re not. The people you try to keep in touch with, and they ignore your last 18 emails, and then you give up and one day they’re like, “hey, how are you, I’ve missed you, you never write, keep in touch.” WTF dude? Seriously? You have got to be kidding.

Now, I don’t really get bothered, most of the time, when people don’t write/email/whatever back. They have lives, they have priorities, they have things they need to do. That’s fine. Keeping in touch with me not a priority? Fine. Answering my questions not important to you at this time? Fine. Can’t be bothered to acknowledge my existence with a brief note? OK. Not a problem. Just don’t sit there 3 months from now and whine about how I don’t keep in touch. Because, you know…. you’re not a priority. I tend to only keep in touch with people who keep in touch back. If the last three emails I sent to you went unanswered and you haven’t bothered to look my way in ages, I’ve stopped trying to be all “keep in touchy” and gone about my normal business of keeping in touch with people who actually give a shit. Certainly don’t sit there and accuse ME of being the one failing to keep in contact, twit.

I’m just saying… I don’t honestly care what the communication level/frequency I have with various friends and family is. Just so long as someone doesn’t expect more output from me than they are willing to give back. Rarely am I the one who doesn’t return a mail and keep in touch. I’m usually the one who has sent the last email, and then another a bit after that, and then another. It’s positively irksome to then have the person go on about how I’m not keeping in touch. You only get what you give, people.

I’m far more bothered by when friends can’t be bothered to say hi or something than family. But then, friends don’t admonish me about the importance of keeping in touch, so at least it’s just a feeling of being ignored by someone, not frustration and irritation. Most of my friends do it, from real ones to internet ones, old and new, so I’ve gotten used to it. I stop keeping in touch with them too, but they occasionally write me out of the blue and we have a short convo before they go back into hiding. That’s fine, I’m not a huge letter-writer anyway. I doubt any letter of mine has ever been all that exciting to read or had any real news other than “Otto and I just got married (finally, after 8 years)” or “Just so you know, I changed my name.” Everything else from me is usually a “nothing much here” because seriously I don’t have much to say… I’m a freekin housewife with no kids. shrug

Sure, it is sometimes weird to me that my emails/letters/comments on blogs go completely ignored, but whatever. Being the kind of person who doesn’t much need human interaction, I understand. Hell, the only reason I even respond to people sometimes us just so that I don’t hear the whining “you never wrote me back/I never hear from you” crap. So I get it, especially since those responses are usually the boring ones that are little more than acknowledgment of someone’s existence and letter.

I guess, what bothers me in this whole thing is the hypocrisy. Ya know?
Because I’m understanding when people “ignore” me, and try not to get all bent out of shape about it. (Even though, sure, sometimes it would be nice to have my existence acknowledged.)
So it seems to me to be in bad taste to be the one who never writes complaining that the other one never writes.
sigh
Let alone the person who decides to no longer write me after being needy for three years because one is no longer lonely in prison. But… I’m gonna leave that for another small rant, one of these days when he really ticks me off.

:-)

One Response to “Keeping in touch”

  1. kitmouse Says:

    I’m like you–I answer emails, even initiate sending them out with respectable regularity, but there are times when I go months without ‘talking’ to close friends. And that’s fine. We’re still friends, I know where they are, they know where I am…if anything happened and we needed each other, we’d be right there.

    I have absolutely no patience with relatives being all “keep in touch”-y though. Bite me. You have no idea what’s going on in my life, you make no effort to keep in touch with ME, and frankly the fact that you feel I’m OBLIGATED to portion out some of my time to you doesn’t really motivate me. Ugh. ‘Family obligations’ drive me nuts. I wouldn’t talk to these people and wouldn’t want to know these people–I’d actively avoid these people–if it weren’t for some unlucky genetic accident.

    So, yeah. I’m a bad relative. I’m a good friend, though, because I ALWAYS answer. ;)

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