Wagons

You have not fallen off the wagon. You have hopped down. Maybe you have hopped off for a twinkie, or a cigarette, or an 8ball, but you have not fallen, you’ve jumped down, gleefully chasing after something that you couldn’t have on the wagon. Falling via being stupid drunk is not falling, it is still hopping off… where’d you think you manage to get that beer in the first place? Falling whilst reaching waaaay out to try and snag that chicken fried chicken isn’t falling either.

The whole damn thing is a really fucking BAD metaphor. It makes no actual sense. Maybe it makes sense in some strange program where rehabilitation is just sitting on some wagon letting someone else take the reins and drive you over the finish line, but that sounds like a really retarded way to rehabilitate yourself… to leave it up to someone else. Isn’t the fucking point to take responsibility for yourself and your actions and make it fucking better and fix yourself? Isn’t the point that YOU are in control of your own life, and noone else can live it for you? I mean, it’s not anyone else’s fault you were a drunk/fatty/addict. Why should someone else have to make you better? How can they, really?

I just seriously have always had an issue with the fucking wagon metaphor. I thought it was just that it was one of those over-fucking-used phrases that made me want to scream… but really it’s sooooo much more. It’s the fucking implication, whether it’s a conscious one or not, that A) you’re riding (not driving); and B) you’ve “fallen”. You haven’t. Falling is different. It’s something we don’t do on purpose. Grabbing that damned twinkie/beer/joint is a fucking DECISION. And YOU made it. It didn’t fall into your hands any more than you fell off that damned wagon.

One Response to “Wagons”

  1. Istok Says:

    I’d say an 8Ball is falling. If it were a line OK fine. You go home and dont go to sleep until 4 am because of one shitty line. You will feel bad about doing the line not becasue you made an effort to stop but that you didnt do an 8Ball and now cannot sleep. You might actually learn a leeson. But a whole 1/8th is all pure party with good knowledge that you will want it again. Falling? Yeah your ass fell hard and happy.

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