What my habits say about my priorities

You know the drill. If something is really important to you, you’ll do it. If you don’t have time, you’ll make time.
I say it all the time. People who don’t have time to work out, simply do not have working out high enough on their priority list to make time for it.

It’s understandable. Certainly your family and sleep and work need to be high on your list. You need to make time to eat, and certainly to relax some. Schedule in some nookie while you’re at it… you get bitchy without the nookie. (grin)

So, being that I’m not where I am in a good many things in my life, and I certainly do not have the excuse of “work” getting in my way… Where does that leave me?

I’ve been working towards, lately, really getting a handle on the sloshing chaos that feels like my life. I’m not nearly so organized as I once thought I was. Maybe I’ve slipped, maybe I no longer care, maybe I was never as with it as I thought I was. Whatever the reason, this has helped conspire against me to make me a frazzled, anxious mess.

I really am, actually. I’m quite often anxious for no apparent reason even. I’m not scared of people (I just don’t like them), I’m not afraid of anything tangible most of the time… I’m just constantly restless and bothered by something I don’t even know exists a lot of the time.

So, as I sit here, before I spend any more time whining about my fat ass or my 83 in statistics (yes, for the first time EVER, I have less than an A average in a math class) I begin to think.

I have a B in math because I haven’t done much. No practice, haven’t done half the little homeworks that had to be turned in, and have been a bit confused/lost when the test comes. Not much, but enough. This can be raised, of course, since the one really damning grade, and 82 on a test, can be replaced by the final if the final is better. (So, not only would the final raise my grade on it’s own, it would doubly raise it.)

But back to my priorities and habits. What do I make time for?

When I’m home sitting on my ass, I have a number of things I could be doing.
I could be working out… I have a well-equipped exercise room and cardio machines. I could yoga or do some core training. Hell, I even have videogames that could be counted as at least a “light workout,” not to mention half a dozen workout shows on the dvr.
I could be working on my art. Either on a project for class or something on my own.
I could be cooking, and getting food ready for the next few days or week or whatever.
I could head out and run errands, like grocery shopping and the like.
I could clean house. There’s always something that needs to be done, and usually more than just one something.
I could take a walk, do yard work, or something else that’s useful and ups my general activity rating.
I could do homework. I have papers and reading in english, I have projects in drama, I have math homework and practice.
I could play video games.
I could sit and watch tv.
I could take a nap… I’m usually very sleepy when I get home anyway.
I could surf the interweb (or intardweb as I saw today on jwz).
There’s literally dozens of things I could be doing.

What do I do?
Pretty much nothing.
Sometimes I clean a bit, sometimes I can pull myself together enough to cook. If I have a paper/homework due the very next day I might be working on that (in between playing videogames and doing nothing).
I play games.

And we wonder why I’m not getting anywhere in all those ways that are “important” to me.

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