One class left

Tomorrow I have drama, and then spring break.

I need to read, do a report, and paint.
I also need to do basic household crap.
I’m looking forward to it.

I’ve learned a few things these past couple weeks. I mean, I’m always learning things, that’s a given. But I’m seeing things a little differently. I have much more in me now, which is nice.

I don’t really know what to say about some things, because I don’t get some people’s mentality. I really don’t. I just… don’t get it. So, foregoing the aneurysm, I just move on.

Sometimes I’m really torn.
You know?
I mean, sometimes I feel badly that I don’t like dealing with some family. Occasionally, I feel badly for not keeping in touch. Then I’m reminded how it’s not me who doesn’t keep in touch. And… it’s an “it figures” moment.
I guess I care some, I mean, it does dwell on my mind sometimes, and I do get emotional occasionally about it. It would be nice, I suppose, if I liked my dad.
You know?
It’d be nice if I had the kind of relationship with my dad that other people had with theirs.
But I never did, because first and foremost the dude is an annoying prick. And he was before he did the things that got him in trouble.
I’m not sure if I’d feel badly or not if he read my blog.
I mean, I guess I don’t care that much, or this shit wouldn’t be here…. right?
Or I do, but I don’t bother doing anything about it. Kinda how I hated being fat but didn’t actually even make the step to drink diet.

Pensive.
I’m feeling a bit blah at the moment, which brings up all the stupid shit floating around in my head that I don’t ever really want to deal with because I see no decent resolution in sight. I mean, it’s not like it would make things better to call my dad up and say, “you know, you’re a fucking prick, and this is why…”

I’m not angry, or annoyed or irritated. It just cropped into my thoughts and I want to expel them so I can have a nice, relaxing evening playing video games, working out, and having sex.

There are other things floating around too… but I don’t randomly talk shit about people just to make myself feel better.
…unless, apparently, they’re family.
Ain’t that the way it always goes?

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