If I weren’t Aoife

What exactly makes us what we are? Certainly our experiences shape us… but there’s obviously more to it than that. What makes us inherently who we are? How different would we be if our lives’ circumstances were different?

If I were a rich girl….

Ok, that’s not really what I mean, but then again…

So if I have issues with money because I grew up with very little, would I be much different if I grew up rich?
What if my parents had stayed together? If my mom was straight? If my sibling was the miscarriage my mom had when I was 4?

How much do I control what I am? Is my lack of caring about that meaningful?

Don’t expect this to make much sense, I’m in an odd mood, and half of my thoughts aren’t making it out anyway.

You know, sometimes it creeps me out that people read this. Obviously not enough to keep it unreadable… but it still does. Certain things more than others. But there are definitely times when I think it would be best if noone I know personally read this (excepting the all great and knowing Oz… I mean Otto, of course).

Would different physical characteristics make me different inside? Obviously not something changed, but if I were simply taller or had different bone structure or bigger tits (naturally, dumbasses)… would that have any impact on who I am? I mean, only little chicks are “fiesty,” right?

No, I’m not sure why this shit is popping into my head. So don’t fucking ask. It’s not the point anyway.

The point is… What if the question “Have you met Aoife?” had a different meaning other than explaining away an unfiltered, foul-mouthed, earmuff moment?

And would it change the way people felt about me, dealt with me, thought of me… ?
And would I care?

Because, at the moment, I don’t.

But again, it’s not necessarily the point.

Or it is.

I can’t be certain, you know, what is original and what it formed (or deformed) about me. The eternal nature versus nurture question.
Personality is in part just there from birth… some babies are fussy and some aren’t… some children are shy and some aren’t… Some people are dickheads and some are cunts…
Scratch that last bit… I think that prolly goes somewhere else…

If I were different, would I still be the same?

One Response to “If I weren’t Aoife”

  1. Brian Says:

    so i was out searching for my sisters blog who is also conviently named Aoife. And lo and behold i stumble accross this place. Now i took some time out of my busy day read through a fair chunk of your page. If this doesnt sound too internet stalkerish, i enjoyed it. Your intelligence and sense of humor jump out at the reader.

    As for your current post. I reckon it all comes down to physics. (i didnt read far enough to know what your doing in labs but if its physics then you’ll know this allready) You can’t both know where a particle is and know where it is going. One or other. By observing where we are at this current moment, we give up the idea of predestiny. Would you have been a different person had any of these things happend. Probably, maybe very different, the joy of life is that it is already lived, you can’t make that mistake again in the same way or feel that same pain ever again. What does this mean, simply this.
    In the whole of the unverse across all phases of space and time you are unique. You will exist once and only once and your uniqueness will add to experience and therefor the uniqueness of others.

    Hows that for randomly deep.

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