Giant Douche Awards

hmmm… this is a tough one, folks. I think we may have a tie here.

Contestant #1:
White Camry #PNP 9805
I don’t quite understand you, asshat #9805. Why, exactly, are you rolling through the intersection at the stoplight? Are you truly in THAT much of a hurry to do your 35mph in the 55 zone? I realize it was raining… but if you were soooo damn scared of the water, why were you speeding up to 45 to kiss that dude’s bumper? I take it you like giving rim jobs? Sucking tailpipe is so alluring that you can’t help yourself? Do us all a fucking favour, douche… Drive yourself off a fucking bridge. You’re only good for one thing: making us less irritated with driving behind someone doing 45 in a 55.

Contestant #2:
White Camry #PYC 3097
I understand. You seriously were worried that I might actually get to merge onto the highway before my lane ran out… AND THAT MUST NOT HAPPEN. So thanks. I really enjoyed you speeding up all the way to 80 (in the pouring rain, in a 65 zone) with me, AND slowing down to 35 with me. That was super extra nice of you. Awesome! I like that you tried to be sure I would hit that guardrail coming up… because I’m not so sure I would have been able to do it without your help. Besides, I realize that really you wanted me to come to a dead stop and let you finally pass oh so slowly before I moved over. The other guy was terribly annoying… but you… you tried to actually KILL me. So, for that… You win, mister 3097. The douchey crown is yours!
Fucking asshole.

AND THE WINNER IS……

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