Giant Douche Awards

hmmm… this is a tough one, folks. I think we may have a tie here.

Contestant #1:
White Camry #PNP 9805
I don’t quite understand you, asshat #9805. Why, exactly, are you rolling through the intersection at the stoplight? Are you truly in THAT much of a hurry to do your 35mph in the 55 zone? I realize it was raining… but if you were soooo damn scared of the water, why were you speeding up to 45 to kiss that dude’s bumper? I take it you like giving rim jobs? Sucking tailpipe is so alluring that you can’t help yourself? Do us all a fucking favour, douche… Drive yourself off a fucking bridge. You’re only good for one thing: making us less irritated with driving behind someone doing 45 in a 55.

Contestant #2:
White Camry #PYC 3097
I understand. You seriously were worried that I might actually get to merge onto the highway before my lane ran out… AND THAT MUST NOT HAPPEN. So thanks. I really enjoyed you speeding up all the way to 80 (in the pouring rain, in a 65 zone) with me, AND slowing down to 35 with me. That was super extra nice of you. Awesome! I like that you tried to be sure I would hit that guardrail coming up… because I’m not so sure I would have been able to do it without your help. Besides, I realize that really you wanted me to come to a dead stop and let you finally pass oh so slowly before I moved over. The other guy was terribly annoying… but you… you tried to actually KILL me. So, for that… You win, mister 3097. The douchey crown is yours!
Fucking asshole.


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