waiting…. waiting…. waiting….

I hate waiting. I’m a terribly impatient girl, and waiting for this damn iBook to get here is a real drag. I’m confused why it wasn’t here before now, why fedex has barely any updates, and why it’s scheduled to arrive today (it being much more for saturday delivery, and all that stuff.) While I do hope it comes today, I really don’t think it will. Sandy has a test to take today/tomorrow, and I’d like to be able to just give this to her and be done with it.


I’m also waiting to be able to upgrade this machine, to add any more music to my library, or anything else major, just because it would be easier and I’d have more room.

Phone bill is through the roof. Apparently Sandy blew through our rollover minutes the last coupla months, and now I’m staring down the barrel of a $350 cell bill. I’m not upset, but the shock was…. upsetting. At least now we don’t have rollover to lose when we switch plans.

Ok, so something I just haven’t much to say about:

My dad is finally out.
I don’t know if he’s staying with his ex or my gramma… I kinda think the latter. Don’t really care.

Contrary to what my mom thinks, I’m not really all that bothered personally by all this. It wasn’t terribly hurtful to me, other than in a ‘no man is an island,’ ‘we are all connected,’ i have empathy sort of way. Most of what pissed me of to begin with was the hurt he caused others and his huge, towering hipocricy. That and that he always seemed to be the type who figured it was only wrong if you got caught. And the impression I got from my mom after her visit to him was that what he really was lamenting was not his actions, but that he got caught. That may or may not have been the case, my mom’s perception of people tends to be scewed in certain areas, and I certainly have preconceived notions about him.

But, none of that really matters now. The way I see it, what was done wasn’t as bad as it could have been. (I agree with Otto in that there must have been other things going on cuz the whole damn thing seemed a bit fishey.) But now it’s over, he’s paid his price, and presumably he’s not stupid enough to make the same mistake again. Whether he sees the ‘mistake’ as what he did or getting caught isn’t something I know nor care about. He’s just never going to be alone with his grandchildren, so far as I’m concerned.

Otto doesn’t ever want him visiting. Certainly understandable.
Me? I find myself hoping his parole won’t let him leave the state, so that it will not be an issue. I have no desire to see him, but the human part of me doesn’t really feel like breaking that kind of news. He’s a guy that used to be my daddy, but later didn’t see fit to bother keeping much in touch till he was bored out of his skull in a 8×10 room for a couple years. It’s not that I’m holding a grudge or seeking some kind of punishment…. more like I’m just so detached, so used to never hearing from him, that the odd part is actually hearing from him. Am I bitter that he didn’t really see fit to keep in touch before he was stuck in prison? Not really, it’s just that I know that apparently that’s what it takes.

I don’t really enjoy strained converstaions anyway, and talking to my parents sometimes feels like that. I have fun talking to my gramma. I enjoy talking to my sister. Everyone else feels awkward, like a chore.

I don’t really feel like talking about this anymore.

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