damn plaster

I’m totally stressing about this damn shoe. I’m stuck… unable to just start in on the thing. If it weren’t something I was doing for a grade I’d prolly be done by now. But the worry of fucking it up royally is keeping me from actually doing anything on it. It’s not easily measurable where it contours and such, and I just can’t actually make myself just dig in and worry about the specifics later. The blocky thing it is now is actually pretty close to its real dimentions, so it’s kinda all detail left, with some contouring, but then not quite.

UGH!

This just sucks. I’ve had the thing at home since last wed, and have barely done anything on it because of this very problem. I left the actual shoe home last monday, so I already feel very freekin behind on it. I know the worst than can happen is prolly getting a C on the project, and so long as it’s a shoe that’s roughly the size of the original I’d prolly get a B…. But, seriously, I just can’t bring myself to potentially fuck it up. Right now I may have gotten nowhere with it, but at least I haven’t done it irreparable harm.

Hence why if it weren’t for a grade I’d be much farther on it. I’m totally cool with fucking it up and coming out with a piece of shit and learning what I did wrong and seeing how it goes by just kinda going with it. I’m totally not cool with a shitty grade on a fucking plaster shoe.

Ah, the joys of being me.

I think when I get to class I’m gonna just hop in and be done with it… it’s just that here, not working on a good surface…. certainly the better tools will help. Part of the problem is that here I only have the chisels and I’m to the point where they’re kinda too overkill and big and clunky.

I could use a set of calipers and maybe something else to help with layout… but I don’t really think that’d help. A better way to measure various features and areas would be swell, but I can’t really come up with anything.

. . . . .

Great. here comes another rant on how perfectionism coupled with worries of inadequacy really sucks ass… yet is the fucking story of me…

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