Family

So, my mom calls to ask if I’m going to the reunion in august (apparently the 6th, tho this is the first I’ve heard a solid date for the damned thing… go fig) and I say, quite simply, NO. The why? Because I have no money and hate travel.

UGH! You have no friggin idea how much I hate travel, especially to see family. It’s never fun. It’s always a pain in the ass. Everyone acts like an ungrateful shit because you don’t give them 180% of your friggin time. It’s expensive for even the cheapest way to travel. There are always hidden costs. There is no relaxing. I’m constantly on the go and stressed. In a shitty mood when we finally can come home.

Don’t get me wrong. I really do love my family. I hate to see anything bad come to them… even the ones that seem hellbent on ruining their lives and the lives of those around them. But I simply cannot make myself go. Every ‘vacation’ we’ve had for the past dozen years has been to see family. That’s it. The last time we went up, Otto was sick as hell and lost out on a position because we weren’t back yet. My immediate family (and his, at least 1/2) just cannot be made to see beyond their own selves when it comes to us. I’m not saying I don’t want to see my family, I’m saying I don’t want to go to see them. And, honestly, if people don’t get that, then I don’t really give a shit.

But, at any rate…

So mom says she wants to come down in the fall, once the kids are back to school (and presumably work dies down some). I told her about Otto’s mom’s shenanigans with her impending ‘visit’ and at least she found it amusing. I don’t know that she really gets that it’s not about me not wanting to see her. I just can’t handle the travel.

oh… and she’s bringing her new girl friend.

Hell, I so need a real vacation of some sort before actually travelling to see family again. I just can’t do it before then. I don’t have it in me.

Hell, I so need a real vacation… period. Just actually be able to have the money and time to get away and chill for a bit… see something I haven’t seen somewhere I’ve never been.

Until that day… I’m not going to friggin NY.

oh well…

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