Best… Damn… Joke… EVER!

Bob Hill and his new wife, Betty, are vacationing in Europe; as it happens, in Transylvania.

They’re driving a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It’s late, and raining very hard. Bob can barely see 10 feet in front of the car. Suddenly the car skids out of control!

Bob attempts to control the car, but to no avail! The car swerves and smashes into a tree. Moments later, Bob shakes his head to clear the fog. Dazed, he looks over at the passenger seat and sees his new wife unconscious, with her head bleeding! Despite the rain and unfamiliar countryside, Bob knows he has to carry her to the nearest phone.

Bob carefully picks his wife up and begins trudging down the road. After a short while, he sees a light. He heads towards the light, which is coming from an old, large house. He approaches the door and knocks. A minute passes. A small, hunched man opens the door. Bob immediately blurts, “Hello, my name is Bob Hill, and this is my wife, Betty. We’ve been in a terrible accident, and my wife has been seriously hurt. Can I please use your phone??”

“I’m sorry,” replies the hunchback, “but we don’t have a phone. My master is a doctor. Come in and I will get him.”

Bob brings his wife in. An elegant man comes down the stairs. “I’m afraid my assistant may have misled you. I am not a medical doctor. I am a scientist. However, it is many miles to the nearest clinic, and I have had basic medical training. I will see what I can do. Igor, bring them down to the laboratory.”

With that, Igor picks up Betty and carries her downstairs, with Bob following closely. Igor places Betty on a table in the lab. Bob collapses from exhaustion and his own injuries; so Igor places Bob on an adjoining table.

After a brief examination, Igor’s master looks worried. “Things are serious, Igor. Prepare a transfusion.”

Igor and his master work feverishly, but to no avail. Bob and Betty Hill are no more.

The Hills’ deaths upsets Igor’s master greatly. Wearily, he climbs the steps to his conservatory, which houses his pipe organ. For it is here that he has always found solace. He begins to play, and a stirring, almost haunting melody fills the house.

Meanwhile, Igor is still in the lab tidying up. As the music fills the lab, his eyes catch movement, and he notices the fingers on Betty Hill’s hand twitch. Stunned, he watches as Bob’s arm begins to rise! He is further amazed as Betty sits straight up! Unable to contain himself, he dashes up the stairs to the conservatory. He bursts in and shouts to his master:

“Master, Master!… The Hills are alive with the sound of music!”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA :D :D :D :D :D

Ahh… I love that joke. :D

One Response to “Best… Damn… Joke… EVER!”

  1. bored in the barrel » Blog Archive » Bianca Says:

    [...] Bianca was, of course, the awesomest character. She was half Betazoid, half Vulcan. She was older than she seemed (and pretended to be) because she was Vulcan, and she was just pretending to be a student with these other kids because she was supposed to uncover some plot against this planet/the governor’s family. It was TOTALLY retarded. Christopher, of course, was the governor’s son. She fell into like with him. She ran with his friends and at the end there was gonna be some massive attack which she was gonna defend against and die awesomely and tragically. The whole damn thing was deliciously bad. I cherish this thing like I cherish a really bad joke. It just warms the heart. [...]