Is very hard. I mean, I know that nothing bad will be found from my scan… but… :( what if? I know it’s been years, and I know if something was really wrong with me it would have manifested by now. I mean, what kind of illness takes 8 years to do nothing more than increase in frequency?

But, then again… I also wish I knew what the hell was going on. I mean, the reason I don’t talk about it is because there is nothing to talk about. Blood work, Xrays, MRIs… nothing is showing anything wrong with me. And this big case of Nothing has been happening for so long I forgot what it was like to go thru an entire day without the annoying sensations.

I’m glad to know I don’t have brain tumors, or Epilepsy, or Diabetes, or any other bad thing I can mangle the spelling of… but what does that leave me? It’s not so much that I’m worried that it’s something bad… I’m worried we’ll never know what the fuck is going on and I’ll be stuck in this limbo of being “glad it’s nothing bad.”


Likely a few days before I know anything anyway. But as I sit here, unable to get to sleep because every time I so much as twitch I have to endure a minute of annoying nerve feedback… I get impatient. And a little worried.

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